The right path

The Monarch butterfly has been a symbol of new beginnings, wise choices, and the assurance that I am on the "right path" since the late 1990s. While I suffered a great loss during that time, it was also a wondrous time of transformation for me. My younger sister had just died at the too-young age of 34 from the side effects of a life marked by addiction, unresolved pain and devastating losses. Her passing, though extraordinarily heart-breaking, also carried with it feelings of great relief for me and my family members who had mostly stood by helplessly as she slowly and surely gave in to the demons that haunted her during most of her late adolescent and early adulthood life.

After she died in early October, I set about writing a eulogy at a picnic table in the back yard of the farmhouse where I once lived in southern Indiana. When I stopped working on my handwritten drafts to rest my eyes on something other than the painful prose, I truly thought I must be hallucinating from grief. In the sky above me I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of Monarch butterflies fluttering past, clearly on a mission. I remember running into the house to find my roommate to show her this unbelievable phenomenon and to have her verify that this was not a figment of my over-tired, overwrought state. As we watched the colorful, winged marvels continue their upward and onward migration, I was in awe of this beautiful gift.

I could go on to name several instances where a monarch has lighted to give me pause. There was the time I was leaving the mid-west for the eastern seaboard with a man who had stolen my heart, and just as I walked out of my quaint rental cottage for the last time, a bright orange, black and white flyer landed on the screened door. Another memorable yet sad moment was after a close friend was killed in a car crash and her sister handed me a floral bouquet appointed with a beautiful, albeit fake, Monarch right in the center of the arrangement.

So, why am I referencing the butterfly today? Because as I am embarking upon a fabulous new career as a psychotherapist, I am so grateful to be working with five clients already. They are beautiful, strong individuals, and though they may feel sluggish and fledgling, I can already see the vibrant colors of their emerging wings. I believe they can and will fly. And I have never felt more assured that I am on the right path before.

Migration to the heart...