The right path

The Monarch butterfly has been a symbol of new beginnings, wise choices, and the assurance that I am on the "right path" since the late 1990s. While I suffered a great loss during that time, it was also a wondrous time of transformation for me. My younger sister had just died at the too-young age of 34 from the side effects of a life marked by addiction, unresolved pain and devastating losses. Her passing, though extraordinarily heart-breaking, also carried with it feelings of great relief for me and my family members who had mostly stood by helplessly as she slowly and surely gave in to the demons that haunted her during most of her late adolescent and early adulthood life.

After she died in early October, I set about writing a eulogy at a picnic table in the back yard of the farmhouse where I once lived in southern Indiana. When I stopped working on my handwritten drafts to rest my eyes on something other than the painful prose, I truly thought I must be hallucinating from grief. In the sky above me I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of Monarch butterflies fluttering past, clearly on a mission. I remember running into the house to find my roommate to show her this unbelievable phenomenon and to have her verify that this was not a figment of my over-tired, overwrought state. As we watched the colorful, winged marvels continue their upward and onward migration, I was in awe of this beautiful gift.

I could go on to name several instances where a monarch has lighted to give me pause. There was the time I was leaving the mid-west for the eastern seaboard with a man who had stolen my heart, and just as I walked out of my quaint rental cottage for the last time, a bright orange, black and white flyer landed on the screened door. Another memorable yet sad moment was after a close friend was killed in a car crash and her sister handed me a floral bouquet appointed with a beautiful, albeit fake, Monarch right in the center of the arrangement.

So, why am I referencing the butterfly today? Because as I am embarking upon a fabulous new career as a psychotherapist, I am so grateful to be working with five clients already. They are beautiful, strong individuals, and though they may feel sluggish and fledgling, I can already see the vibrant colors of their emerging wings. I believe they can and will fly. And I have never felt more assured that I am on the right path before.

Migration to the heart...

I've got this!

Tomorrow I sit for my clinical exam. It is a culmination of a five-year process of getting a MSW, working in the field for three years and getting supervision both on the job and in addition to the job.

I have this. I know it, and I will pass. In fact, it's already done. Praise be to Higher Power.

To any of you out there preparing, or scheduled for your exam, or getting ready to sit, I send all good energy and positive thoughts.

Let's do this!

Walk Therapy

I started my Walk Therapy modality. When I brought up the idea of walking and talking to a new, somewhat therapy-resistant client, she jumped at the idea. We met at a local park, and sat in my air-conditioned car while she signed consent forms and then we discussed safety and liability. Once the forms were completed, we set out on foot to talk it out.

She laughed, she cried, she opened up and we made some baby steps toward progress. It went by very quickly and after we ended the session, my new patient expressed positive feedback about the experience. I encouraged on-going feedback, especially if something wasn't working. I also told her it may get worse before it gets better.

There is something very healing about being outdoors. Even in the heat of summer, the fresh air and movement does wonders for our minds and bodies. The feeling of moving forward is a great way to begin the process of getting unstuck. Putting one foot in front of the other seems so simple, but it can be very difficult for someone who is depressed or anxious. Being in our homes, and often sitting in one place for hours when depressed or anxious only seems to amplify the feelings of hopelessness. Conversely, being out in nature and walking is empowering. Being a witness to the beauty all around you may bring about feelings of well-being, if only for a short time. And, the endorphins that are released during movement are healing for body and soul.

Others do not know that therapy is in session. We are only walking and talking. We've discussed what we will do if a familiar face rounds the curve: we will say hello and keep walking. 

I am very excited to be offering this "ground-breaking" therapy modality to my clients. I know there will be people for whom Walk Therapy is not appropriate and I will also offer the more traditional "sit therapy."

Walking the talk...

my first client

She came onto my path unexpectedly when I thought I was not quite ready (the universe had other ideas). I don't yet have an office (this all worked out effortlessly), and I am not completely organized (honestly, are we ever?). I can't yet accept insurance (she doesn't have any).

So I took her on without pause, though I did have to take her number and call her back because ironically (maybe, maybe not), two of my colleagues beeped in at the same time and I figured it would be good to run some things by them first.

I am excited! I've got this. Here I go...